Why do I let things eat at me?

Well the Banquet is over and it went fairly well. But the only thing that is eating me alive is that fact that Cheerdad did not even say hello to my daughter. Someone who became so close to us and he could not have even sucked it up and said hello to her. I guess regaurdless of the situation I would not take it out on his daughter and I dont expect him to take it out on mine.

But Jeff did extremley well. The more I look at him I love him more and more everyday. Even when I think I could not love him anymore than I already do, he springs something on me that proves me wrong. This time it is very diffrent for us. We are both happy and it shows so much when we are together. I wish he really knew what he meant to me back then and how much more him means to me know. I really hope this works for us. Today he shocked me more than he ever has. My daycare is closed this week and he has been bringing her to school for me. Well his boss called today and asked him to work tonight so I told him that I would find someone else to bring her to school for me. He told me NO, that when he got home from work in the morning he would come here and bring her to school. I thought I might have to pinch myself. Is he for real or is this just a dream? We shall see come morning, but I know that he will be here.

Some times lying is the way.....

I was talking to Jeff the other night about the whole cheerdad issue and asked him if he minded us getting the kids together. Well I guess I should have said nothing at all because he asked if there was more than a friendship there and I said "NO". Well being the person I am, I cannot stand someone who lies, So I had to set everything straight. I went to his house sunday to tell him I lied to him and yes there was more than a friendship between me and cheerdad at one point. Well he got angry and told me that he does not want me talking, hanging out or emailing cheerdad for any reason. Ok fine....Until......

He then told me that he has a friend Ellen whom he has not slept with but hangs out with sometimes. So I asked if he ever thought about sleeping with her. He said that it was not a fair question and that I should not have asked that, only to make me believe the answer was clearly yes he has thought about it. So I went there again yesterday to set him straight. I will give up my friendship with Cheerdad BUT I am not going to tolerate his friendship with Ellen. The only diffrence is that I went through with it, he just thought about it. Well obviously he thinks of her more than a friend and I am not willing to put up with that. I know it sounds like I am a jealous person and sometimes I can be but I think it is only fair.

My friendship with Cheerdad went farther than being together, our kids are on the same team, they go to the same school, do the same activities, so we are at everything together. And we became close. I will NOT remove my kid from the school, the activities or the sports and that is something he has to deal with. But out of respect for Jeff I will not hang out with Cheerdad alone.
And in return I need him to respect me and not hang out with Ellen alone. I am quite sure he was not pleased that I said this to him but if he wants to be with me he will have to make some kind of decision. Oh yes and he said he never has to want to meet Cheerdad but he will be at the banquet tomorrow night and I cannot do anything about it.